Friday, September 25, 2009

spare time

It's been awhile. School will do that to a person, I suppose. Especially, school that limits my sleep. It's difficult to write a blog when the alternative is to see my boyfriend, whom I haven't seen in 4 or 5 days and he lives less than 2 miles away. When I am struggling to maintain my composure and the mere thought of my feelings brings tears to my eyes, blogging doesn't seem to be the smartest choice. I am just waiting for the moment when the flood gates open. The stress over the past 4 weeks has brought me to tears, but each time they start, I have managed to quickly recover. Except I really haven't recovered. For whatever reason I cannot completely let go and sob. Really sob. With my whole body. I feel unsatisfied, like squeezing bubble wrap and the result being a lackluster whine rather than a pop.

I am doing okay, but I find myself catching my breath, sighing as if I am forgetting to breathe.

So much for breathing being involuntary...

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I just need to let it out but I don't have time too.